Things come and go away..changes rapidly,despite how hard u trying to stop it..nothing is the same as last time,especially the ppl that revolve around u..who r frens and who are not? it is reali hard to distinguish..some ppl like to say something that irritates u,but stil,u keep tat in heart and keep telling urself not to be mad about it..sometimes it is not the fault of ppl for ppl saying u so,cos ppl wun attack u wvout a proper weapon (the weapon comes from urself,when u reali got da point of being said by them)..just GET USED to it..when u reaches a certain level,u can reali ignore what ppl said bout u,and keep walk through the rest of ur life gracefully..tat is what we want,but not to break down easily just bcos of those irritating ppl..Power from the inner heart is the one that drives me through all the hard times..Recently,ther r someone lik tis around me,which will b called ms.P in the following..i reali dunno how to communicate wv ms.P,what she know is to scold n talk rudely all the times..who do she think she is?Y cant she change her attitude towards ppl?has she ever think what is da feeling if ppl treat her in that way (i wonder if tis has ever Crossed her mind)...??i cant demand everyone to b perfect,but at least be more considerate..Think be4 u talk,if u still hav ur cerebrum cerebelum functioning..i keep quiet doesn mean tat i can accept things tat u did n said..And pls...STOP spilling secret! i've learned the lesson..Things tat r private n confidential should not be in ur knowing at all,even a word about it..There's nothing i can do to stop u from doing things tat u used to do,so the onli thing tat i can do is to keep myself away from u..Keep doing wat u lik to do,until the day u realize what kind of person u r,in ppl's mind..By the time u realize it,it would be too late...too little too late....And my onli request to ms.P,keep urself away from me too..

 

 

So,dun look back i know direction..i realize,Everything is Broken..But the footsteps wil always be there,just like a tatoo..

 

What the helll...?da last time i did write a blog is million years ago..i stopped,y?because my life was so wonderful tat i dun hav any complaints?definitely,no..just tat too many things had happened tat it cant b told in words,beyond words,more den words..hah..

 

Well,now tat i graduated from secondary school..i dun wanna talk bout SPM result,its so saddening n wat an uncomfortable topic to b talked bout..talk bout National Service,i hate it,yet so anticipating to go..to open my eyes,bout how my life goes on if i'm nt at home,not being pampared by my parents,and sisters..Thinkin of da food,environment n da sun,make me sick..arrgghhh...There's no point  for me to keep on imagining da place,I'M THE CHOSEN ONE,yes,i hav to go..TATS the truth..take it easy,i told myself..moreover,port dickson is a best place for vacation wat..(it used to be,N years ago) >.< haiz..whatever la..whatever wil b,wil b..mayb i can come back being da 最佳营员..hah..dun dream..

 

Tension tension tension,dun force me to think what course to b studied..I DONT KNOW,n i dun wanna think about it..Think liao so wat,its not like everything wil go on lik what u planned..Let the FATE decides everything,船到桥头自然直..i do believe tis..i salute those who can decide on their own about their future,know reali well tat what they wanna become,wat they wanna achieve..I hav to admit it,i'm not interested in anything..i mean,everything..haha..i just love to slp and sing and read..If u ask me what subject i like the most,i'll answer 'astrology'..yes,tats not in syllabus..not even a subject tat exists in this country..Dream remains dream..ya babe,keep on dreaming..GOOd for health..^^

 

LAlala...sing a song,forget the worries...烦恼是人自找的，找烦恼的人是愚者..我是聪明人，不可以有烦恼..yay..

 

Mid year exam has just passed..

I know clearly that i have done bad tis time..

Reali dunno wat result i'll get...

Just now when da teacher was distributing add maths paper my heart was lik jumping out..cos of what?of course because i scared to c my lame result..

My heart was not beating at normal rate,not the usual 'loop doop loop doop'..but is 'dup dap dup dap'..maybe because too much adrenaline secretion,telling da SAN to stimulate more vigorous heart beat..so..at last,i got my result..haizz...SO DAMN LAME..but tat served me right..cos i din make any effort for add maths..got la,one day before exam..haha..last minute work doesn help much anyway..

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Today one of my friend told me about a scary truth..READING CAN CAUSE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE!

That is true..first,he gotstomachache and he thought tat was just because of gastric..

But when he went to the doctor,the doc told him that his blood pressure raised from 90 to 160 !

This reali scared me much..and also revealed the DANGER of studying..

TENSION is the main culprit..

But..no tension,no improvement..

so how???

When we were small and the christmas trees were tall..we used to love while others used to play..

Now that we are tall and the christmas trees were small..someone from far part us away..

Dun ask me why,but the time is just passing by..someone wil replace me in ur heart,tis is going to happen one day..

But u and i,our love wil never die..

Time wil fade everything,including love,no matter how deep it is..

And i hope time,wil also help me get u out of my deepest core..

Juz because i dun believe in miracle..it wil happen to anyone but not me..i have no longing anymore..

Wish u..always be happy..

This is most probably the foolish thing i had ever done before...I took part in 200 m running in sukan tahunan!!!

But guess...Whats da result...

Before running..i reali had a hard time..My heart keep beating 'loop doop loop doop'..My hands keep sweating...My legs are trembling..I am SO DAMN SCARED!!!!! y?i dunno....

Then..when setting off...i can felt many ppl eyeing me..Perhaps not looking at me bt stil,i cant help feeling scared..

'Pong!'..off the fire goes...my mind is totally blank..I just keep running n running..N at last,i got the second..count from behind..wahaha..but thats ok for me,at least i'm not the last one..right???

So now...i'm suffering from dunno what disease...My legs are realli so damn painful..the muscles are tightening..even yoko-yoko cant help..

Dr.Fool..can u help me cure my legs?

The truth is tearing up my heart

I cant recognize this place

The endless road without a stop sign

Cant even find a stranger this time

Y am i still holding back my tears?

In this loneliness there is nothing left to fear

Every song still seems a wonder

How v could b together?

Everythime i ask if this would be the last

Y am i still talking to myself?

Hoping u will hav the keys to my cell

Every song might calm the weather

But it just draws me deeper

How could i get out of this?

I think...I never will

A crystal forming in the eye

Maybe this would be the last

The winding path down myt face

Till i begin to taste the bitterness inside...

I hate my fren..He always know what i'm thinking...But,he understands me the most..sometimes he'll know what i'm thinking when i dunno how to express my thoughts in words...

When i told him i like someone..He said 'Go tell him directly that u like him la!'..Stupidx3...U thought my face veli thick izzit??!! I wonder if he got some wits...haizz...If i got the guts to do what i wanna do,i sure dun have to share my prob wv him ady rite???use ur brain use ur brain!!!

 

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I'm a bit upset wv some1 lately..i dunno y..just couldn bear what he did..In fact,he did nothing..Just that i'm unhappy cos he reali did nothing...

A simple explanation is better than anything..But hope is hope,it never gonna happen..I know this very clearly...I already did what i can,bt it din make any difference..so..juz let it be..let the time pass by and fade everything...

 

I hate being myself..

I hate doing things that makes me regret later...

I hate myself for not doing anything to stop something bad from happening..

 

I wish to live in my own world..

I dunwan anyone to notice me..

I dunwan to talk to anyone...

 

If only i know what i reali pursue for..

If onli i understand myself very well..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

well...i wrote this after reading someone's blog...

sometimes i reali couldn stand those ppl who keep saying that THEY ARE GOOD,in fact they darely said so without anyone's approval..mayb there r somebody who give complinents to them such as 'hey! ur english reali good eh!'..but..have they ever think that other ppl said so just beause ppl r just trying to be nice or not wanting to let anyone down..haizzz

SOMEBODY is like that liao..i wonder if their faces r as thick as Great Wall of China ??!! wow...haha

Ppl alwaiz said that i'm Cute..but i din learn somebody go spread everywhere pun..haha!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i'm going back kelantan today....feeling a bit..em...sad...

it was quite stupid 4 me to walk alone 4 hours n hours these 2days in kl...

however...it was worth cos i reali felt contented..

i just wanna escape from everything...from any unhappy memories lie inside my mind until those stupid annoying tuition...

bsides tat...i aso felt a small sense of victory in me...cos i manage to dump everything that hav been bugging my mind all these days after tis trip...n make decision 4 all the uncertainties...although i'm not clear whether the decision is a wise one or emotional one...bt i think tis decison is good 4 both me n him...

 

yesterday i spent my whole afternoon in kinokuniya...n bought some books that i thought i would never have bought it...they r all about love.,which is a bit wu2 bing4 shen1 yin2 n super wu liao...just 2 words to describe those books..."SO LAME"!!!

i reali believe in horoscopes...cos i think that they r reali very accurate...a book says tat cancer(me lo) is a person tat tend to change according to their mood...in short,a cancer is emotional...n she is often controlled by her emotion...so... sometimes wat i say or do is normally 99.99% affected by my own emotion...n i dun think tis is a good characteristic 2 b possesed...but wat i can i do..."i'm lik tat liao.."

 

these days...i realized tat frens r reali important 4 me to carry on...when i need someone listen to me,juz a simple phone cal,i can reach out for them at anytime...so i m very very grateful 2 hav so many nice frens around me...they always giv me the greatest support...

 

kl...tis place seems strange n familiar to me...many things happened here...sweet n sour...bt i wil just remember the nice memories...

 

i love u...(dunno meant for who)

 

haiz...i reali hav much to say..bt sometimes not everything can b expressed easily in words...so..tat's all 4 now...til i renew my blog again at the end of year...

tata ^_^